The journey of yoga has taught me many things about myself and what limitations I carry within me. I believed I knew what yoga was about until I truly had to face myself and relearn everything I have ever learnt in life. All of my habits, programming, way of breathing and even sitting was something I had to let go off. Things are not the same anymore and I surrender to this moment of unlearning and relearning to become more aligned and balanced from within and without. I didn’t know I was causing suffering to myself for so long. I was not in charge of my mind; how could I be in charge of my body and life?
The anxious thoughts and feelings about the uncertainty of the future and pain from my past have been deeply rooted and reflected in the tensed body and mind. I was not able to see it. I didn’t pay any attention to my body and its mirror connection to my mind. Once during the practice when I felt unbearable pain in my hips, I could feel the tension all the way in my mind. I was not able to let go because I was so scared. I realized how much fear and stiffness I am holding on to. How can I be flexible in my body if my mind is stiff and cannot accept and surrender to complete uncertainty in
That’s when I truly realized the power of surrender. What if I try to surrender to this discomfort and pain I am feeling? What if I truly accept what is instead of resisting it? Let the breath do its work and help me in this process. I am not this fear and I am not this emotion. Beyond all those layers of conditioning I am pure essence of love. The god that is within each one of us. I breathe in Prana, the life force and breathe out fear. As I surrender to this moment, I notice tears streaming down my cheeks. I let go. I am safe to finally let go. And so, it is.
When we treat our mind as friend not as our enemy, the life energy can flow freely. Because flow is where presence and non-resistance is. Flow is where passion and joy is. Flow is when we are in peace, when we feel grateful and alive. When we surrender, we remain open to flow of life that wants to flow through us like a river. Even if things don’t go according to our plans. They will go even better, the way we cannot even image. We can hear our heart whispering to us. And when our heart is pure and open, the universe will always conspire to help. When we surrender, we are able to see beyond what we thought was possible. New ideas, people, thoughts will start popping up because the resistance has been removed. The body will resist less and start being more flexible. The outside world and external circumstances will change because your perception changes. You start to look at things differently. Everything looks more alive, real and beautiful.
Once I changed my perception about my limitations I could finally relax into the asana and enjoy it as it is, the perfectly imperfect pose, raw undefined version of me. I allow, I accept, I love all of me. Not just all the good I have but also the heavy and not so good I carry. Instead of judging let me observe. These limitations and imperfections are my teachers. Teaching me how to surrender, how to accept myself without judgment, how to love myself deeper and deeper every day.
This isthe real journey of yoga. Going beyond of who we think we are, unbecoming, detangling from the net of the mind and melting into the stillness. The real yoga brings you back to who you are, to your essence, to the truth. Once you taste the deeper truth there is no way back. You will never stop growing and learning. The goal is to remain a student continuously and allow the magic to unfold into a sacred union between true wisdom and the wholeness of life.
With gratitude I surrender to my own personal transformation and let the healing take place. Let the deepest wisdom and essence of yoga shine through my being and take me where I need to go. Let this wisdom be transferred and shared with others. May I be always guided through the power of surrender onto the right path. And so, it is.
I humbly bow to this practice and philosophy. With an open mind and heart. For the highest level of healing. For the highest good of all.
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